When I grow up. (long and random)

Adam and I have always agreed to have 2 kids if God granted them to us. I have always thought in the back of my mind that perhaps we would have 3 especially if we ended up with 2 of the same sex kids because I really wanted a girl and Adam wanted a boy (which I find amazing because Eve is all about Daddy and Milo so far is all about Mommy.) Well as fate would have it we have one of each. So now Adam is completely convinced that this is it, but I have this desire to have another. This last year has been a roller coaster for us. In the last year we have lost a pregnancy, a grandma, and a grandpa and we gained our beautiful Milo after many ups and downs. Adam has stated on occasion of me bringing up the possibility of a 3rd baby that this year has been too much and he really doesn't want to go through it again. He loves the family we have created and is willing to go get "fixed." We have agreed to wait a year before going through the procedure to make sure we are really done. Well I just can't seem to let it go. I feel like I am really ok with 2 kids and honestly there are so many drawbacks in my mind of having another...more money for daycare, need a bigger car/van, need a bigger house, etc. Two kids fits us and our lifestyle. So why can't I let go of this idea of one more? I have been thinking about it a lot. And then as I was casually talking to Adam in the car today about having maybe one more I think it dawned on me why. As a kid growing up I always said to myself that my life's goals were to graduate college, get married, and have kids just as I think many young girls think of. Well I have done all of those things...now what. I think this idea was also confounded by the fact that we waited so long between kids. Starting 2.5 years ago I really wanted another kid and we waited a year and a half before trying again and I think that build up of we are going to be trying and then waiting for the healthy birth of your child is huge and realizing that I won't get to do that again kind of sucks even though it is good too. So now I feel like I have this huge part of me that is going to be part of my past. Am I all grown up now that I meet all my lifetime goals from when I was a kid? Do I need to make new long term idealistic goals to get the feeling to go away? Or do I accept that I have finished one wonderful chapter I have dreamed about since I was little and be open to where the next chapter leads me. I really think I need to accept that we are done having kids and just look forward to watching them grow. I really don't want another kid I just want the experience and that is not a reason to have a child so hopefully God will grant me peace with the decision to love and enjoy my two beautiful children and allow the longing for another to subside.

Birth Story

Starting on Friday I was having pretty bad back pain and an occasional contraction. Overall I was just uncomfortable but thought it was just more false labor or Braxton Hicks contractions because I had been getting them almost every night for 2 weeks. So I took Eve to my dad’s house and we went to a fish fry. Eve wanted to spend the night with her best friend (my dad) so we left her there. Adam and I stayed up late playing the Wii. He went to bed at midnight. I stayed up until about 2:30 am. I went to bed and woke up at 5am feeling like I was peeing myself. I told Adam, “Either I just totally pissed myself or my water broke. I need towels now.” As he rushed to shove a towel between my legs I had another huge tidal wave come through. They told me I had extra amniotic fluid but I guess I never realized how much. I ran/waddled my way to the restroom and took a shower while Adam stripped the bed and started packing the hospital bag. The contractions were starting to come a little closer together but they were totally bearable. I got dressed and threw on a pad. I sat down on the couch to add a couple of songs to my Ipod and felt another gush. I stood up and it completely soaked threw my pad and there was a huge puddle on the ground. I ran to the bathroom and Adam cleaned up the mess and brought me a new change of clothes. I got dressed again and out the door we went. I had Adam put a garbage bag on my seat because as we were getting off the exit I had another huge gush and it looked like I peed my pants again. Luckily the hospital was pretty dead because they lost my registration and I had to run through all the information with them. They sent me right to triage and as I got in our little room I had another huge gush and left a huge puddle on the ground. I changed and they checked me. I was 5cm and the contractions were starting to get more painful. I was BGS+ so they started penicillin and as they were putting in the IV I had another huge gush. It seriously sounded like someone turned the faucet on and so much came out that it started running down the side of the bed (all the bedding was soaked through completely.) Once I had all my IVs hooked up I went to the labor room. The anesthesiologist came in as we were still getting settled so I decided to get an epidural right away. The contractions were still manageable but were becoming increasingly uncomfortable. I had the epidural around 7am. Adam and I laid around watching movies. They kept coming to check on me and I was progressing pretty consistently. By 12pm I was 10 cm and he was sitting pretty low. The nurse called Dr. K to see what she wanted me to do. She wanted me to practice pushing. I practiced for 2 sets of contractions and he was coming down and was pretty much ready to come out. The nurse called Dr. K and that I was ready. I had to gently push to keep his head down but couldn’t push all the way until the Dr came. The Dr. got there at 12:45 and we started pushing around 12:55. I pushed through 2 more sets of contractions and he was here at 1:11pm. He was super healthy and I only needed 3 stitches for a superficial tear. Honestly his birth was so easy. I feel great and recovery has been awesome. I have a bit of a backache that won’t go away but overall I feel awesome. Milo is an awesome baby and only cries when he is hungry and is breastfeeding like a champ. He is so much different than Eve was. He makes being a mom so easy. Eve has been a little attention starved but overall is adjusting well. I am in love with my family. I feel like I am floating on cloud 9.

38 weeks 4 days.

I have been having back pain and contractions on and off all day. I really just want this show on the road already. All the false hope is making me miserable. I just wish my water would break so I would know already. I don't even care about being uncomfortable at this point. I actually feel pretty good besides the backache but even that I can live with knowing what a real contraction is like. I am officially a day more pregnant than I got with Eve. She was born at 38 weeks 3 days. Isn't the second kid supposed to come earlier? Apparently Milo is on his own little schedule and will be stubborn like me. I also have a really bad case of insomnia lately and can't seem to go to bed before 2:30 am. I think I am just excited and have so much anticipation that I have to wait to go to bed until I literally pass out.

38 week appt.

Well I had my appointment today. Everything is looking great. His head is lower and locked into position. I am 4-4.5 cm and 65% effaced. I will get induced a week from today. I will start the induction May 7th at night (I need to call to set up a time.) and depending how quickly labor goes have him the 7th or 8th at the latest. She isn't sure I'll make it that far but said she actually is surprised I have made it as far as I have so we will wait and see. I am so excited that in about a week (or less) I will be meeting my big handsome baby boy.

2nd Opinion u/s

Today we had a second opinion u/s done. I am very thankful our Dr. allowed us to get one final look at him. He was measuring at 8lbs 4oz. So he is still big but we are feeling more comfortable in the idea of having an induction over a c/s. I totally understand it doesn't mean I won't end up with a c/s but the idea that I can comfortably say I am at least willing to try and have him vaginally makes me feel so much better. I called an left a message for the Dr. that we are interested in an induction for as soon as she thinks is safe. He is going to be a chunky little monkey but he is cute for sure. I saw him doing practice breathing and his what appear to be ginormous feet being grabbed by his chubby little hand. He looks as though he has a lot of hair and I could see it floating around. Now hurry up Milo and make your entrance so we can meet you!

The beginning fears.

Disclaimer: What I am about to share took me a long time to realize and is not my proudest of memories but it is what happened. This is going to be really really long.

Eve's pregnancy was really hard on me physically and emotionally. Probably not more than a normal person but it wasn't all sunshine and daisies like I thought it would be. I felt so overworked and overwhelmed that all I wanted to do was to get some sleep before she came. I dreamed of getting a good restful sleep. I decided to take off 2 weeks before my due date to get her things in order and more importantly get some extra sleep. I figured I would get at least 2 weeks if not more to accomplish all the tasks I had set forth. Well on my very first day off of work my water broke at 5 am. All my plans for some leisure time were thrown out the window. We went to the hospital and Eve was born at 3:42am the next day. I was in labor for about 23 hours and was exhausted. I spiked a fever right after having her so I was put on antibiotics and they wouldn't let me breastfeed her right away because I was in pretty bad shape (I was shaking from chills and kind of was in and out of consciousness.) They ended up giving her a bottle before I was given the opportunity to breastfeed. When it came time for me to breastfeed Eve wanted no part of it. She refused to be placed into any sort of position to be breastfed and whenever there was a boob in her face it would result in an all out meltdown. I had lactation consultants try and help and nothing was working. I wanted to breastfeed so desperately. We tried to get her on the boob the whole time I was in the hospital but it just wasn't happening. I decided to start pumping and supplement when needed with formula. While we were in the hospital I got next to no sleep because I had the IV in my hand the whole time and honestly that was the worst part of my recovery because it hurt so bad. Eve slept pretty well while we were in the hospital. We came home a loving family and I was so happy to be out of the hospital. When we got home I was pumping every 2 hours for 20 minutes in hopes of getting enough milk to not have to supplement and to help ease my engorgement. I felt like I was being strangled by my enormous breasts. Eve decided to go from sleepy all day baby to inconsolable all day where nothing makes me happy not eating, rocking, cuddling, gas drops, or a clean diaper. She wouldn't nap longer than 20 minutes and she had to have every light on and the TV on to hopefully stay calm enough to sleep or just not freak out. We tried everything. Adam and I would take shifts Basically he would take her from the time he walked into the house at 3:30pm-12am. I would try to sleep during that time but I still needed to pump every 2 hours, eat dinner, and I was desperate to spend time with him. I felt like a walking zombie and there were times I seriously had to put Eve down and go in another room and scream my head off just to let the frustration get out. This went on for 2 months. I wasn't sure if we were going to survive. I loved her more than anything but this was more than I had bargained for. Well when she was 2 months old she went 10 days without pooping. I was constantly talking to the Dr. office about what to do because my already fussy baby was getting worse. On top of all of this my breasts started hurting so bad I couldn't even walk because brushing my arm against them would make me start to cry. I continued to pump through the tears thinking it was just a clogged duct but as the pain became so unbearable we packed up and went to the hospital (because of course this all came to a head on a Saturday.) My parents took Eve and we spent 9 hours at the hospital for them to tell me I had mastitis in both breasts. While we waited in the hospital I confessed to Adam that I couldn't stand breastfeeding. I loathed it and wanted to quit. He was really supportive and said it was my decision to make. He was fine with just giving her formula. I had such mixed emotions on it. I went back and forth on the issue. I wanted to quit but I wanted to do what was best for her as well. Well I continued to pump for a few more days but as the mastitis began to clear I got a clogged duct and that was my final straw. I really couldn't do it anymore. Having a happy mommy was more important than being breastfed because I wasn't being the mom I wanted to be to her because I felt so miserable. The night we switched her to formula for good she finally pooped and the next night she slept 8 hours straight. It was a miracle and from that point forward she was a wonderful child and we started to bond.

When I look back at those first few months I am so sad because I don't think I bonded with her like I wanted to and I think I suffered from depression. I was so upset with the fact that I didn't get my time off before she was born. I was upset that I wasn't sleeping. I was upset that she wouldn't go to the breast. I was upset that I had to pump. I was upset that Adam had to go back to work when we had only been home a few days. I was upset that the first months weren't how I dreamed them to be. I have a lot of regret from her first few weeks and although she is a wonderful child I wish I had a better start with her.

With this pregnancy I felt a lot more prepared. I wasn't scared of delivery. I set it up so I could take a month off before he came. Adam would take off more time to help transition (although this might not happen.) I would be ok from the beginning if breastfeeding didn't work out. I would still give it a try but if he didn't latch on I would not guilt myself over it and just go directly to formula. I wouldn't feel bad asking for help from my parents or Adam's parents. I felt like I had a plan for everything that went wrong with Eve so we could have a better and more calm start with Milo. Then I got thrown the curve ball of a possible c/s and I felt those plans starting to fall through and was scared I would have the same really rough start I had with Eve. I don't want to feel regret or resentment towards him since things didn't work out like I planned them to. I know it will all work out in the long run but in the short term I think there might be some struggles. I hope that by realizing these feeling now I will be able to face the challenges that lie ahead. I know that it took me until Eve was almost a year old to realize how miserable I was those first few months and the impact that had on my relationship to Eve and Adam.

God has heard me.

I have some issues that I am constantly working on. Like I am not good at standing up for myself when it comes to medical issues. I also HATE talking on the phone. I am really proud of myself and leaving a message for the Dr about the possibility of a second u/s. I know it might not be a big deal and I said I was going to do that but the fact that I actually followed through on it makes me really proud of myself. Unfortunately the Dr is out of the office today so I won't hear back until tomorrow.

Last night as I lay in bed I was praying that I would go into labor soon so that this decision would be taken out of my hands and placed in God's instead. I fell asleep praying and when I woke up I felt this sense of peace come over me. Even though he didn't answer my prayer in the way I asked he did answer it. I am completely convinced that I just need to let nature take its course and God will take care of us. I still want the other u/s to just get a better idea of what we are facing but I don't think I will schedule a c/s. God made this baby for us and I trust that everything will happen the way it is supposed to and I really have no control over it even if it results in a c/s. I am choosing to enjoy my last moments of this miracle. Baby Milo we can't wait to meet you.

37 week update.

On Thursday we had a growth u/s. He is already measuring 8lbs. 14oz. That is 2 lbs more than Eve was when she was born. She thinks I might have been borderline diabetic and that is why he got so big because I have only gained 17 lbs. I am 3cm and 50% effaced. I was given a few options on what to do since he is so big and Adam and I have been in discussion ever since in regards to the situation. Basically the options given to us were:

1.) Wait to go into labor naturally or get induced around 5/5 and see what happens which after 9 lbs my dr. recommends a c/s due to the risk of baby getting stuck (which gives me until Monday approx. to not have a 9 lb kid.)
2.) Get an amnio done to see if his lungs are fully developed and induce on Monday which could result in a c/s.
3.) Schedule a c/s for sometime after 5/5.

Obviously at this point we are not going with option number 2. Amnio scares me so we won't go with that. Adam is really scared about something happening to me or the baby and is voting for the c/s even though both of us are having a hard time believing he is so big. Maybe I am just in denial but I don't feel like I am carrying a huge baby. I honestly have been much more comfortable this time around. I really really really don't want a c/s. I mean if that is the only way to have him fine but I would like to try for a vaginal delivery. So I think last night we finally made a plan of action that will make us both feel a little more comfortable. If I don't go into labor by Monday I will call the Dr. and ask for another u/s to be done at a different location. I know she might not agree with me but a c/s is a major surgery and if I was ever faced with surgery I would want a second opinion so therefore I think it is fair for me to say let me get another look at this baby and see how rapidly he is growing and if the second u/s tech agrees with the firsts estimate of his weight. From there we would reassess the situation and make a decision about what to do. I want a healthy baby more than anything but I also don't want to have a surgery that I will regret especially if they are off in his measurements.

This whole situation has been eating me up inside since Thursday and I feel robbed of being able to enjoy the last part of my pregnancy. I am all for u/s but I think in this case I would have almost rather been ignorant because I seriously have cried over this everyday. I have super mixed emotions on it. I know that there are worse things that could happen than a c/s but this is not how I pictured the outcome of this pregnancy and I have issues with things not going how I planned them in my head and I know this is totally my issue and God is probably just using this as an example for me to trust in him what will be best and I am trying and praying about it that I can let go of control and let God decide. I am most scared about what will happen both physically and emotionally postpartum wise if I do end up with a c/s but I will blog about that at a later time.

We're not having a baby or anything...

or at least this is what you would think based on both of our parents current actions. My mom's best friend purchased a plane ticket for her to come visit her in WI. She will be gone from April 28-May 7. My ILs are driving to WI and probably leaving on Monday (the 27) and will be gone for at least a week. I would imagine they will be gone for 2 weeks since it take 2-3 days to drive each way. So if I don't go into labor before Sunday there is a good chance the only family who will be here is my dad. Honestly I am ok with it I find it more ammusing than anything since both my mom and my mother-in-law are already calling to see if I am in labor yet. The only thing I am sad about is my mom being away after the baby is born and Adam having to go back to work although this probably won't be an issue. My dad happily agreed to watch Eve while I am in labor even if it means I have to call him at work to come get her. I am just a little shocked since both sets of parents just dropped this on us in the last couple of days. At least I won't have to entertain both sets of parents in the hospital together.

The Excitement Grows.

Last night I was having slightly painful contractions for 2 hours that were about 5 minutes apart and about 45 seconds long. I was worried I was going to be going to the hospital that night when I have so much stuff to do still before he comes. I decided to try and get some sleep and that seemed to make them slow down. I am still getting an occasional contraction but they don't hurt anymore. I am getting excited to meet him and am in desperate need to know if I am making progress at all but I don't go to the Dr. until Thursday.

Today was a lovely day. I woke up and Adam helped me get ready to go out (because that is a real task these days) and I met up with some ladies from work for a little baby shower luncheon. It was so sweet. We were at the restaurant for almost 3 hours chatting. It was absolutely beautiful outside. My mom took Eve to a big sister class at the hospital we are going to deliver at today. She had a lot of fun there. My mom said a baby was born right when they got there because they play Brahms lullaby throughout the hospital when every baby is born. My Dad took Eve to the local global village festival and they made a birdhouse together. Adam got to spend the day playing trains. He also put together the baby swing and bouncy chair. (Last nights labor scare finally got him to finish up some baby stuff.)

Tomorrow our good friend who lives in Colorado is coming to visit for the day because she is in town for work. We haven't seen her in about a year and miss her so much. We are a little sad that her husband isn't coming too because they are just such a fun couple to hang out with.

This weekend has been so relaxing and enjoyable so far. It has been so nice since I felt like the week was such a grind. I am finally starting to relax and am so looking forward for Milo. I can't believe he is going to be here in a matter of weeks. I feel my heart swelling to make room for all the extra love I am going to have for him in addition to the love of Eve. I can't wait to hold him in my arms and see what a great big sister Eve is going to be.

And so it begins.

For the last month or so I was pregnant with Eve I got so little sleep. I think it is God's way of helping make the adjustment to lack of sleep once the baby is here not as big of a deal. I am on spring break this week and I had 3 goals: clean and orgnaize the house, sleep, and do homework. It is Wednesday and I have not accomplished one of these goals. My parents had Eve spend the night on Friday and Saturday so I should have been able to sleep until well past ten. No I was up at 7 am both days after waking up a million times to get comfortable and pee. Sunday she came home but I had a head cold so sleep Sunday night/Monday morning was pretty much lost (I was wide awake from 2 am to 6:30 am) by the time I fell into a good sleep there was a cute little 4 year old standing next to me asking me to get up and play. On Monday night/Tuesday morning I was not able to fall asleep until 1:30 am and then got up about every hour to pee and was woken by Miss Eve at 7:30 am. Seriously the child used to sleep until 10 am at least but now I feel blessed if she makes it to 8 am. So last night Adam and I had a tour of the hospital we will be delivering in (not the same one we had Eve at.) We left Eve overnight with my parents again (she loves it there and my parents can't get enough of her.) I am finally starting to feel better so I was excited about the prospect of a good night sleep and getting to sleep in. I must have woken up every hour last night because I just couldn't get comfortable and I was wide awake by 6 am. Seriously all I want is a good night sleep. Just one. I am hoping I start getting tired soon so that I can go back to bed and wake up feeling refreshed enough to complete one of the other goals on my list before I pick up Eve.

Milo

I have been sick on and off since last week Wednesday. I took off Thursday and Friday because the stomach bug hit the hardest then. I had off through Monday and took off today because I went to the Dr. All weekend I have been having a hard time and a lot of pressure on my cervix. I mentioned it to the Dr. today and she decided to check me out and I am already starting to dialate a little so she did a test to see if I would be likely to have preterm labor. If I get a negative it means I am ok and if it is positive I might have to go back on bedrest. She told me to take it easy and rest but that I could go back to work tomorrow and they will call me with the results of the test. She doesn't seem to be too concerned so I will go back tomorrow but am not really looking forward to it. It is really hard to take it easy when you teach 140 7th graders. I know my students will be so excited for me to be back tomorrow but I am not looking forward to the craziness. I just think it is going to be hard waiting for the results but I really hopr everything is ok and I am going to try my hardest to take it easy tomorrow.

Paranoid.

When I found out I was pregnant with the baby I miscarried I found myself drawn to reading stories about miscarriages. It might have to do with the fact that there were a lot of ladies on BOTB that m/c around the time I found out I was pregnant. It was kind of comforting to know that I wasn't the only person that this had happened to and honestly it really helped me recover quickly because they were able to be so positive. I honestly was about to go on a downward spiral of deep depression but their positive attitude of moving on made me realize I could do it to. Once I focused on the future instead of the past I felt this huge weight lifted and was able to start to enjoy my life for all the little blessings I have. Moving forward and TTC right away was my saving grace and allowed Adam and I to get closer than ever. I have felt a wave of emotions since finding out we are expecting again. I am so blessed to have this baby growing in me. The first few weeks were really stressful and I thought of nothing but is everything ok? Then I went to the Dr. and everything looked good and I felt relieved. I was happy for a few weeks and then I got really nervous before the next appointment and thought for sure something was wrong. Then when everything was ok and I felt relieved for a few weeks. Then I had some spotting and thought for sure something was wrong. I was happy to see everything was looking good. Now I find I am always reading stories about late miscarriages/stillbirths. My draw to these stories scares me. Am I reading them because something bad is going to happen? I then realize he hasn't been as active as he had been. I start freaking out some more. Will the freaking out ever stop. Can I ever just get excited and not worry? I am trying to stay positive and honestly he looked perfect on the u/s last week and I know everything will be fine. I have another u/s on the 18th maybe that will help settle me? I doubt it. Even once he is here I will probably still worry. I think that is just my nature. I hope I can relax and enjoy at least some of this for more than a few days at a time.

We have a winner?

Adam is the worst person in the world to discuss names with he thinks we have for ever to decide. I want a name now. We are a little different in that regard. I was dreading the trip to see his parents for the holidays. I figured his dad would insist all weekend that we name our child some form of Thomas. I am completely opposed and although this might have been funny the first time he mentioned it way back when I was pregnant with Eve it gets increasingly annoying with each one of their grandchildren that are born. I told Adam that he better be prepared to discuss names on the trip there because I wanted to have a name picked out in case he wouldn't let up. A 2 hour car ride is the perfect way to trap your husband into deciding names. 5 minutes into the trip I started going over our potential name list. 30 minutes later we finally made a decision. Our son has a name for now at least...Milo Finn. I am really good at changing my mind 1000 times so we will see if it sticks. My FIL in true fashion within 10 seconds said so are you going to name him Tommy Lee. Adam snapped back at him. No, not going to happen in a nice firm voice. His dad didn't mention it again. I am so proud of Adam. The rest of the kids bow down to him at all times and just let him go on with his egotistical ways but Adam put his foot down for me knowing I would be a crazy lady all weekend if he continued with his Thomas naming fiasco.

All good.

So we went to the Dr. today and got an internal exam where everything looked good. Then we heard the heartbeat and I was much relieved. The Dr. had us go in for an ultrasound just to make sure that the placenta and fluid was ok. It was fine at first they thought I had a low lying placenta but it turns out I was having a contraction that made the placenta cover the cervix and when the contraction stopped the placenta went back to not covering. As an added bonus we found out we are having a boy. I am so happy he looks healthy. He was being a total bugger and didn't want to show his goods and kept putting his hand there so we couldn't see but then she got 2 good pictures of his boy parts. It was really obvious he was a boy the u/s tech froze the picture and I said "It's a boy!" and she confirmed. I am so excited I get to buy all the argyle I could ever dream of but sad that I won't get to dress another munchkin in all of DDs pretty clothes. We go back in 3 weeks to have another u/s so she can measure the heart and do the rest of the measurements. I am so over the moon happy that our little boy is still safe and I hope he stays that way until at least late April. He was measuring 5 days ahead and I am down 2 pounds from my starting weight even though I honestly have been living off of fast food for 2 weeks. (Bad I know.) Apparently this baby takes after my DHs side and has given me the gift of metabolism.

Bed Rest

Well I have been ordered to be on bed rest until I see the Dr. tomorrow. I have had some more tinged discharge today and am thankful that she wants to see me. I am on strict orders of no walking. Continued prayers would be aappreciated.

Spotting.

I really thought I was in the clear but on Saturday after climbing a ridiculously steep hill while pushing the stroller with Eve in it I went to the restroom and I had a spot. I decided to let it be and took it easy for the rest of the day. Twice I on Saturday I had some tinged discharge and twice today as well. I swear I still feel the baby moving so I am letting it be for tonight because I really have no desire to spend 12 hours waiting to get checked out at the hospital for them to tell me one of 2 things a. there is nothing wrong or b. there is nothing they can do. I am going to call the Dr. tomorrow and see what she says. DH is trying to stay really positive but it has been harder for me. Please pray that everything is ok with our little munchkin.

Ultrasound!

We had an ultrasound today. Our baby is absolutely beautiful. I am so happy. I feel like this huge weight has been lifted off of my sholders. I can't wait to watch the DVD of our little munchkin. I will try and post pictures later. The heartbeat was 158 and the baby was measuring spot on.

Work in progress.

I am not artistic at all. Sometimes I pretend to be but really I am not. I decided to make a shirt to tell my students I am pregnant. So far it has turned out fairly well. I will finish it up tomorrow, but here are a few pictures of it so far. I am going to sew the little trick or treat bag on the short somewhere and then put a bag of sweedish fish in the bag. I think it is going to be cute. My dad asked me what I was doing tonight and when I explained it to him he didn't get it. I really hope my students get it. I think they will because they keep asking me what I am going to dress up as for Halloween.

Houston we have a Heartbeat!

The Drs appointment today was short and to the point. We got to hear the heartbeat. I took her a minute to find it and the whole time I was freaking out inside. But once we heard it it was beautiful. It shounded slower than what I remember DDs being but we didn't get an actual count. We go to have an u/s tomorrow. At my next appointment with the actual Dr. (12/2) we will get to find out the sex of the baby. That is in less than 5 weeks can you believe it!!! I am over the moon happy and I can't wait to see the baby tomorrow.