And the award goes to...

I just want to thank Jaime for giving me this award. She truly is an inspiration to me. She is one super strong woman! I seriously stalk her blog all the time. Check out her blog.

There are so many great blogs out there I had a hard time picking just a few to give this award to. So here goes.

The Noeske's

Bill, Miss, and Brood.

Heart Attack!

That is what I almost had while driving home today. I was checking my voice mail and there was a message from my Dr. office asking me to call. I felt my heart sink all the way down to the baby. I quickly called while praying they were still open. I would never make it all night without finding out what was wrong. I kept praying that they just wanted to switch appointments or something small. I got through! I was so excited and waited anxiously to be connect to my Dr.'s nurse. She said all my tests were fine but the urine showed signs of a UTI so they needed to call in a prescription for me. AHHHHH. Relief. I have been noticing a little uncomfortableness in the area but just felt like that maybe it was the baby stretching me. So the munchkin is still doing good and I am feeling much better and will have to call back with our pharmacy number tomorrow to get my prescription filled.

Getting Tough.

Sometimes being a parent is really tough. Eve has always been an awesome kid. Don't get me wrong she can be a royal pain in the behind but for the most part she is very well behaved. Until the last month or so that is. She has decided to start pushing the limits. Mostly she has just stopped listening which drives me nuts. I used to be able to ask her once to do something and she would just do it. Now she tells me no way. We skipped the terrible twos and went to the sassy 3.5. This is not a stage they often talk about. She is setting her limits and trying to become more independent. I seriously have to remind myself she is only 3.5 and that this behavior is totally normal. All of my IRL friends who have kids around the same age are dealing with the same issues. So today we asked her a million times to clean up the living room and her bedrooms. Tornado Eve had swept through in the morning and you could barely walk at all in either room. Have I ever mentioned that one child shouldn't have nearly as many toys as she does. Eve wanted to do 2 things today. 1.)Help grandma make a cake. 2.) Go see the fireworks at the park tonight. Well she refused to clean up for more than 10 minutes in the living room. We ended up taking away both activities from her. She still wouldn't clean so we told her we were going to throw away all the toys left in 5 minutes. She finally started to clean again for 1 minute. After 5 minutes we got a garbage bag and packed up all of the extra toys left out. I have never seen such a fit. Once she calmed down Adam took her to her room and told her she had an hour to get everything put away or it was going the garbage too. Well after 10 minute reminders for the entire hour she managed to not put away anything. Adam and I packed up all those toys too. We have three large garbage toys sitting in our garage right now. She was even more upset because she lost 2 very beloved toys during the room cleanup:Boo and her flashlight. As they were placed in the bag she kept crying those are my favorites please no. Now before you think I am totally cold hearted let me explain that this whole process made me really sad but it is what had to be done. We made her take a nap after we finished packing up all the toys on the floor. When she woke up she was a completely different child. She was back to my sweet little girl who knows how to listen. She asked nicely for her toys back and when I explained that they were taken away because she didn't know how to listen she said sorry. We made a deal that every day she is a good girl and listens she will get one toy back. I think this will get her to act properly. She was an angel for the rest of the night and didn't fight us on anything. I am not opposed to her being independent but I do expect her to listen and have respect for her elders something she was quickly losing. I hope this does the trick or we are back to square one. I hate having to discipline her. I honestly think it is harder on me than her.

Eve Dancing.

She was teaching me how to dance tonight. I love her so much.

Today's Appointment.

I had a great appointment today. Adam took off of work early so that he could be there. Nothing exciting happened. I got violated for my yearly since I was severly overdue. Weighed and saw I am only 5 lbs away from my final weight with Eve. Not really a good starting point but I will take it. I love my Dr. she is so positive and happy. Being in their office always puts me at ease. She said my uterus felt great and perfect size for how far along we are. I am officially due May 12th. I graduate with my Masters 3 days before. How crazy and wonderful that time will be.
I go back Oct. 29 and get my 1st trimester u/s screening on Oct. 30. I am so excited that everything looks good so far.

New symptoms?

So I have had a bit of nausea on and off for the first week after I found out. Then it went away except when I ate a ham and egg sandwich at Adam's parents house and literally almost threw up half way through. Well tonight I think that awful feeling has returned. My head freaking hurts and my stomach feels like it is going to do inverse operations. It started late this afternoon and I think I am going to have to give up gum because that was seemed to trigger the stomach ache. I tried 3 different flavors and they all made me feel sick. I love gum so this might be hard. What took the nausea to a whole new level was for dinner we had shrimp salad but my mom added a bit of egg to it and guess what? That feeling I got at Adam's parents house has returned and won't go away.
On a side note teaching junior high and being pregnant is really hard. I have this student who loves to wear AXE...you know the proper way they show in the commercial to wear it is to spray the entire can in one sitting. I have already yelled at him 3 times for doing this. It isn't just that he freaking stinks but the fact that he does sprays that crap in my classroom so that I can smell it literally across the room. I have already laid into him about it and not in the nice caring teacher way, in the I will embarrass the crap out of you way. Well today I seriously almost lost my cool completely. I think I laid into him for like 10 minutes about it and then made him stand by the door with the door open so that he would air out for the entire class period. My super smeller cannot handle this and I don't want to let the kiddos know that I am pregnant yet so I can't use that as an excuse but I seriously almost threw up from the smell.
So new symptoms include: super smeller, nausea, and serious bitch.

We spilled the beans.

We finally told my parents. I didn't do anything fancy this time I just came into the kitchen and said, "Hey, we're expecting again." I really wanted to keep it a secret for a while longer but unfortunately after my screaming at Adam across the house that I couldn't do something because I was pregnant and my mom still being home; to Eve talking all week about mommy and daddy having a baby I decided to finally just tell. I am glad it is over. We have a Dr. appointment on Thursday at 3:15 and I usually have to get Eve before 4 because my parents have a night class on Thursdays which means that on a typical Thursday there are like a million calls to see where my parents are so I can meet them. They would have figured it out anyway so we decided to tell. At least my mom didn't insist on telling everyone and their mom. We will keep it quiet. We will let everyone know once we are safely out of the first trimester. I can't believe we kept it a secret for 23 days. That is the longest secret I think I ever kept in my whole life. I am terrible at keeping secrets. I just get way to excited. On a side note I don't understand why Eve has been going around telling everyone that we were expecting. The other day when I went to work she told me to make sure I fed my baby really good so it grows up nice and strong. Adam and I have been trying to be secretive around her because she is a total blabber mouth but somehow she figured it out anyway. She is too freaking smart.

Sooo Sleepy.

Honestly the exhaustion has set in. I can barely function when I am awake. I could take a nap at any given time in the day even if I just woke from a nap. It is making me regret taking such a full class schedule. I cannot motivate myself to do my homework or study at all. I literally wait until the last second. During the week I am worthless because after work I can barely muster enough energy to chew my food an stare blankly at my computer. I get the rare burst of energy. My procrastination leads to freakouts of how I am going to get everything I need to done. I think I am going to start waking up a half hour earlier to work out before work. Hopefully this combined with eating a healthy well balanced diet(my other new obsession) will allow me to have enough energy to function throughout my day and perhaps have a little bit of energy to burn when I get home. I need to stop being so lazy and start living. I have been having a little bit of cramping today which has me freaked out. I seriously need to stop googling and go find my pregnancy books. Google is scary and every time I Google pregnant and cramping it always leads to possible sign of m/c. I really wish the people who wrote this could also put that it is a totally normal sign of pregnancy because it is. I am looking forward to and scared about my appointment on Thursday. I wish I could just speak up and find out exactly what we are going to be doing at the appointment. Am I going to get and u/s or not? Is it going to be a piss and blood test and weight and be told to have a nice day see you in a month. I need some reassurance and I am not the best about speaking up for what I need. I would even be willing to pay for the u/s out of pocket just to know the baby is healthy. I am sure everything is fine and for the most part I am really positive and feel confident about all of this but at other times I am scared out of my mind. I hope this is it. I want a healthy baby more than anything in the world.

I am scared.

Honestly I have never see a bigger time for change in our nation that right now. I am totally scared about what the elections are going to bring. Honestly if I could choose one thing right now to base my election choice on it would be the economy. Honestly the economy is so bad right now that even "secure" jobs such as teaching are no where near being secure. We have had major cutbacks in our district and they are threatening even more next year. We might lose programs that are making a huge difference in the lives of our students. We are already working with the bare minimum support financially and I can't believe they can cut more. My dad who has never lost a job in his life lost his job 3 times in the past 2 years due to companies being closed and filling for bankruptcy. Adam lost his job twice in one year. They both worked in the real estate world so that has a lot to do with why business is slow and thankfully both my father and Adam have found jobs that are not in the real estate business world anymore but even at their new jobs there have been layoffs and every time Adam calls me I worry that he is calling me to tell me he got let go again (even though I doubt that will happen.) This was not something I ever feared before. For a few months I was the only person in my family with a job. I hope no one ever has to feel what that is like because while I was busy trying to educated 130 students everyday I was also worried about how my family was going to find new jobs in a market where few people are hiring and knew that many of my students were going through similar situations. My school as lost 500 students in the last 3 years because their parents had to move elsewhere for jobs. I live in the great state of Arizona where Mr. John McCain is from and this is what is happening here. What is he doing to make life better where he has lived? Nothing because let me tell you it is bad. This is one issue I could go on and on and on about. I am scared about our environment with people who want to drill for something that might not even be there. If you can't draw the line there where do you draw the line? I am scared we will continue to fight a war that we shouldn't be fighting. I am so sad that so many people are disillusioned about George Bush, John McCain, and Sarah Palin as being true Americans who are fighting for our freedom. I doubt they understand what is like to be an average citizen who don't have millions sitting in their bank accounts waiting for them when they lose their jobs. I seriously can't understand how any middle class person can vote republican. They do not have your best interests at heart. They will do what is needed to keep the rich afloat and create an even greater divide between the rich and the poor. I want a greater America where those who chose to work hard has a chance to be successful. I want an American where we can agree to disagree over issues and not have others views forced upon me. I know now that people are starting to not like Bush as much I often hear "well we voted him into office." I hate that. I didn't vote him into office either time because I predicted he would be another repeat of his father but worse and I was correct. I honestly can't see one positive change that he made. I am worried of another 4 years of the same. I want change and I hope that this time America will agree with me.

My Sweetie.

Every morning this week Eve has woken up with me. She is so happy and sweet in the morning. As I rush around getting ready she pops out of bed and says, "Good Morning Mommy!" In the most cheerful voice you can imagine. I am a total crank in the morning and it totally puts me in a great mood to see her so happy. We hang out for a while and she follows me around while I get ready creating a gate at every door so I have to give her a kiss to get through. Then as I head to work she tells me to stay home with her. When I tell her I have to go to work she tells me to take her heart with me, and then tells me to bring home a present from my work. (which usually is a bottle of water or lemonade) Seriously I almost have left the house in tears every morning this week. I need to win the lotto so I can stay home. I love my sweet munchkin so much.

We are back.

We went to Wisconsin for the weekend at it was interesting to say the least. Being with Adam's family makes me feel like I am on Jerry Springer. I will update tomorrow or Tuesday for anybody that would like to see a recap of the drama filled weekend.

Advertising.

Well Eve has begun to get suckered in by advertising. Whenever she is watching TV and sees something she wants she tells me to add it to her Santa list. Then at random times she talks about how Santa is going to get this thing she saw on tv. So far she has 2 items she hasn't stopped talking about and they are 2 toys I don't really want to get her because they are kind of lame.


First she wants a water baby.

Secondly she wants a rolling puppy.She already has 10 thousand stuffed animals and I refuse to buy her anymore.

Can't wait.

I ordered 2 bella bands on Sunday. Why? Because I am already so bloated that I can't stand to have my pants buttoned. Yes I know I am only 5 weeks and I have a long way to go but my cloths were snug prebaby so this added bloat makes my pants dig into my belly. I learned something when I was pregnant with Eve which was I couldn't stand to have anything remotely tight around my stomach while pregnant. I was in materinity pants at 7 weeks with her because of this issue. I really though I could wait that long with this baby too but I bought them on Sunday so that when the time comes I am prepared. Well that time was today and I still haven't gotten them. I went to put on my pants this morning and they closed after I sucked it in a little. The problem came when I went to tie my shoe. I bent over and seriously couldn't breath while bent over because my pants were cutting so far into my stomach that I was holding my breath like I was straining. When I sat back up I realized this feeeling didn't go away and realized how miserable I was going to be all day. My pants have button and 2 clasps. If I buttoned the button but left the clasps undone it gave it an extra 1/2 and inch. This was a tiny relief but I still had a red mark on my tummy when I took them off. I am a little worried about how much weight I have gained and am a little scared to step on the scale. I have been eating way to much from fear it will all change soon. With Eve I never wanted to eat anything, but had to force feed myself. I asked Adam if he would mind rolling me around like Violet from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when I become so fat that I can't walk anymore. He said he was cool with that.

Eve's Laugh.

I was asking Adam to go to McDonald's to pick up a big mac for me. Eve was trying to get Adam to take her along and Adam said only if Mommy comes too. I am exhausted and just got home from working 12 hours. I am laying around in my bathrobe and said I don't want to come because I don't want to get dressed. Adam said that I should come in my bathrobe. At this point Eve started laughing uncontrollably while I informed Adam I would not be going in my bathrobe. Eve the said, "That is so funny. You guys make me laugh so hard." When I asked her why she said, "That would be so funny if you went to McDonald's in your bathrobe Mommy." I love how smart she is and that she can see how ridiculous her daddy's suggestion was, but the best part of the whole thing was to hear that big hearty laugh she gets when she thinks something is really funny.

Pictures.

So I know I started this blog to share pictures and stories of Eve and I have kind of been slacking on that an focusing more on myself lately but the truth is that it is hard to take pictures of Eve. The kid does not like to wear clothes around the house and the only time I ever think to take pictures of her is when we are at home since that is where the camera is. I am not saying she has to look perfect for every picture but I would at least like her to be clothed in her pictures so all of the sickos out their don't see my child naked. Why don't we make her wear clothes around the house? Simply because I would like to be naked all day too and don't really see what the big deal is. My mom dresses her every morning and the clothes last about 2 hours and it is not a fight I want to pick. I would rather make sure she eats healthy and is learning than making sure she stays clothed all day. So on the rare occasion that she is dressed and I have the camera out we take pictures but it is becoming a rarity these days. I really should stop buying the kid clothes because she only wears them in public and her wardrobe is more expensive than mine and Adam's combined.

Little Miss Attitude.

Adam was trying to get Eve to go watch TV in the other room, but she wanted to stay in here with me. So Adam helped Eve off the floor and sent her on her way to the other room and she turned to him in her snottiest attitude and said, "Dida, why are you always telling me what to do?" She may be sweet most days but she knows how to cock an attitude in 3 seconds flat when things don't go her way.

It got darker!

I am so excited.

Yesterday I talked to Adam about how he was feeling about all of this. He said he doesn't want to get too attached until we hear the heartbeat. I understand how he is feeling but he better make up for lack of emotional attachment after we hear the heartbeat. I think he is scared because he actually got super excited about the last baby and just doesn't want his heart broken again.

I really think this is the real deal. I felt different like something was wrong from the beginning with the last pregnancy and this one just feels right. I also have more symptoms this time. My boobs hurt like a biznatch and I am so freaking gassy I can clear a room in about 1 sec. I have been pretty crampy but I think it is a mixture of growing pains and gas pains. I have been a little tired but I am sure that is due to my freakishly long days this week and the lack of sleep that I will blog about later. Twice this weekend I woke up an almost puked so I think I need to stop eating so close to bedtime because the same thing happened when I was pregnant with Eve.

We did it again???

Well this morning AF was due and she hasn't shown so I took a test and got a TFP (Tiny Faint Positive). I am a little concerned because it is FRER and they were super dark when I got my BFP with Eve and medium with the last pregnancy. It should have been a nice dark line but it is seriously light but totally there. I am going to retest on Wednesday and if it gets darker by then I will feel more confident. I know they say a line is a line but with the last pregnancy I took 2 tests and the lines faded instead of getting darker and when I was pregnant with Eve I took two tests and they got darker. The only reason I could see that it is off is perhaps I o'd later than usual. This was the one month I decided not to temp. I know they say the darkness of the line doesn't matter but I am just concerned because of the previous m/c. So I am excited but we will have to wait and see what happens.