Rambling.

Life is going pretty well. I have to say that after my break I really expected to have a hard time going back to work but it has been pretty good so far. I had a rough week last week of sleeping due to that whole heartburn/acid reflux/puking thing but other than that I feel like I could take on the world right now. I finally feel like my old self again but at the same time feel really frustrated by a bunch of curve balls that have been thrown my way. I am coming to the crossroads in so many areas of my life. I am so excited, scared, and impatient for everything to fall into place. There are 3 main things I need to sort out over the next couple of months. I think everything will start to fall into place but as of right now I feel a little sad that I let an opportunity for the worlds best job pass me by just because I was too scared to apply. There was an opening at Adam's work for my perfect job and it was open for about 6 months. I was going to finally apply today and it is no longer posted. Adam said that it hasn't been filled yet so I don't know if they just took the job off the table because no one applied or they decided to eliminate the position for financial reasons. I am hoping that as things start to pick back up they might re-open the position and I can apply. I think I need a break from teaching. Whatever happens I am ready for. I am a little scared I might be let go next year from my position simply because I have 2 classes left for my ESL endorsement which will be required by my school next year. I am ok with that since I ultimately wanted to leave anyway but I am scared of all the changes that are going to happen that aren't in my control. I like to have all the cards in my favor not the other way around. I am trying to stay positive and just enjoy all the great things I have as opportunities for my future. I am ready for the challenge and am ready to fight off the roller coaster my life has become because of the situations I have put myself in. I am ready to start taking control of my life and making it what I want and what my family needs. This year is going to be a year of change for the better. I feel like I just lost 2 years of my life because of being selfish and now it is time to give back to my family.

My family has been so supportive of me these last few weeks, months, years it has been amazing. Eve has turned into such a big girl I can't believe in less than a month she will be 4. She is the sweetest most gentle little girl. Her love of her family astonishes me every day. I admire the peace and smiles she can bring to any room. Adam has been my rock who never once complains about anything I ask. I could lay in bed and daydream with him all day. I miss being able to lounge with him and not have to worry about 1000 different things. He is so excited to meet his son. He is the most amazing father to Eve and is more than I could have asked for and I can't wait to share that with our son too. Milo has been so active lately. I don't think he goes an hour without letting me know he is in there playing around or getting the hiccups. I have a feeling he is going to be just like his daddy and I can't wait for that. I feel like I have awoke from the fog that my life has become and am ready to face what lies ahead regardless of what happens.