The big sister.

(Excuse the messy hair we had just gotten finished dancing around the house.)

Eve has been an amazing big sister so far. She loves to help out by getting me a diaper or making a bottle. She gives him kisses all the time. We have been trying really hard to give her extra attention and let her know we still love her so much. Well on Friday she spent the night at my parents (she would live there if we let her.) On Saturday we came and she asked why we brought Milo with us. I figured she was just being a goof because when I questioned her on it she skipped off to play with her toys. Well today I was complementing her on what a great big sister she is because she helped me by putting a blanket on Milo so he wouldn't get cold. She turns to me and says, "I don't want to be the big sister anymore." When I asked her why she didn't want to be a big sister and her response was that she wanted him to go back in my tummy. I think the jealousy has kicked in a little bit.

Happy Mother's Day!

My loves!

A day to celebrate!

Milo is one week old today!

I officially graduate with my Masters in Educational Technology. We decided to not go to the ceremon because it is 4 hours there, at least a 3 hour ceremony, 4hours back. Spending 11 hours out of the house where we don't really do anything is really not all that exciting. I purchased the cap and gown so I will just have Adam take pictures of me. Because really the graduation ceremony is just a chance to take pictures and I don't need to spend 11 hours getting that done.

Adam gave me the best present and woke up with Milo all last night (he only woke twice). I got 8 hours of sleep. It was amazing. I love my husband.

My husband the comedian.

First an update-Milo's levels are still slightly elevated but not enough for the blanket. Just keep with the formula and have him sleep by a window in his diaper. Hopefully he gets better soon. He seems so much better since switching him to formula so hopefully he continues to improve.

Back to the title of this post. So I put the cabbage in my bra (and I totally stank.) I went to take a nap and when I woke up Eve came in wearing this shirt.

and Adam says to me, "Is the cabbage ready because I am making corn beef for dinner."

Haha very funny....Not!

Dr. Appt Update

Took Milo to the Dr. today and he was 8lbs 7oz., 21.5 inches, and head circumference of 13 in. We had to take him for another serum test for the jaundice because it doesn't seem to be getting better but that could be because of the whole feeding fiasco from yesterday. Should find out the results this afternoon. If they are still high we have to go get a biliblanket and if the are average we just need to keep feeding him and get the boy some sun. I feel bad for giving him sun though because it is already over 100 degrees here. The Dr. seemed very supportive of our decision to formula feed. I am off to nap because the lack of sleep and my engorged breasts have made tired. Hopefully I can sleep through the cabbage stench (used to relieve the engorgement.)

A bump in the road

Today my totally awesome breastfeeder decided to become a total pain in the behind. Starting at 3:30 am he just refused to go the breast. I got maybe 10 minutes of milking in over the course of an hour. Both of us were exhausted over the fight. We both passed out and I was awoken by a gentle cry at 8:30am. Another fight ensued over going to the breast. He stopped crying but refused to latch so I figured when he got hungry enough he would cry and we would try again. He fell asleep at around 10:00 and kept sleeping. I tried to wake him again at noon but he just fought me again on going to the breast. At this point I was starting to worry about him. He hadn't really eaten since 3:30 am and was sleeping pretty much nonstop. We called the Dr. and the Dr. said to give him a bottle because he might just be to tired to try and eat from the breast. I went to the bedroom and pumped and Adam feed it to him in a bottle. I felt like a total failure. As Adam fed him the bottle I sobbed. Things had started out so perfectly with him. My milk even came in without any pain because he was nursing so frequently. I had all these flashbacks of what it was like with Eve. I felt the resentment towards my pump. Was my breast milk not good enough? I was mad that our perfectness was over. I had felt like supermom and now I am just a mom. I was sad that he didn't want to bond with me over the breast. Even after the bottle of breast milk we were seeing little improvement in his alertness. Adam and I got into an argument where some not so nice things were said to him and I don't even know why. He has been so supportive and even knew when he walked into the room and saw me sobbing away knew exactly why I was so upset. After going back and forth all day about what I wanted to do I came to decision. We are going to formula feed. I refuse to let breastfeeding make me such an emotional wreck and I refuse to let it dictate my relationship with my son. We will still bond it will just be over a bottle instead and now he can bond with it with his father too. I am still a little sad over not continuing breastfeeding but I refuse to pump full time and I don't want to deal with all of my emotional baggage that comes with breastfeeding every time we hit a bump in the road. I want to enjoy every last second of my time off with him and I am not going to waste anymore energy on being unhappy. After 3 bottles of formula my son has regained his energy and is sitting and staring at me looking super happy and that makes me one happy mommy.

Birth Story

Starting on Friday I was having pretty bad back pain and an occasional contraction. Overall I was just uncomfortable but thought it was just more false labor or Braxton Hicks contractions because I had been getting them almost every night for 2 weeks. So I took Eve to my dad’s house and we went to a fish fry. Eve wanted to spend the night with her best friend (my dad) so we left her there. Adam and I stayed up late playing the Wii. He went to bed at midnight. I stayed up until about 2:30 am. I went to bed and woke up at 5am feeling like I was peeing myself. I told Adam, “Either I just totally pissed myself or my water broke. I need towels now.” As he rushed to shove a towel between my legs I had another huge tidal wave come through. They told me I had extra amniotic fluid but I guess I never realized how much. I ran/waddled my way to the restroom and took a shower while Adam stripped the bed and started packing the hospital bag. The contractions were starting to come a little closer together but they were totally bearable. I got dressed and threw on a pad. I sat down on the couch to add a couple of songs to my Ipod and felt another gush. I stood up and it completely soaked threw my pad and there was a huge puddle on the ground. I ran to the bathroom and Adam cleaned up the mess and brought me a new change of clothes. I got dressed again and out the door we went. I had Adam put a garbage bag on my seat because as we were getting off the exit I had another huge gush and it looked like I peed my pants again. Luckily the hospital was pretty dead because they lost my registration and I had to run through all the information with them. They sent me right to triage and as I got in our little room I had another huge gush and left a huge puddle on the ground. I changed and they checked me. I was 5cm and the contractions were starting to get more painful. I was BGS+ so they started penicillin and as they were putting in the IV I had another huge gush. It seriously sounded like someone turned the faucet on and so much came out that it started running down the side of the bed (all the bedding was soaked through completely.) Once I had all my IVs hooked up I went to the labor room. The anesthesiologist came in as we were still getting settled so I decided to get an epidural right away. The contractions were still manageable but were becoming increasingly uncomfortable. I had the epidural around 7am. Adam and I laid around watching movies. They kept coming to check on me and I was progressing pretty consistently. By 12pm I was 10 cm and he was sitting pretty low. The nurse called Dr. K to see what she wanted me to do. She wanted me to practice pushing. I practiced for 2 sets of contractions and he was coming down and was pretty much ready to come out. The nurse called Dr. K and that I was ready. I had to gently push to keep his head down but couldn’t push all the way until the Dr came. The Dr. got there at 12:45 and we started pushing around 12:55. I pushed through 2 more sets of contractions and he was here at 1:11pm. He was super healthy and I only needed 3 stitches for a superficial tear. Honestly his birth was so easy. I feel great and recovery has been awesome. I have a bit of a backache that won’t go away but overall I feel awesome. Milo is an awesome baby and only cries when he is hungry and is breastfeeding like a champ. He is so much different than Eve was. He makes being a mom so easy. Eve has been a little attention starved but overall is adjusting well. I am in love with my family. I feel like I am floating on cloud 9.