And so it begins.

For the last month or so I was pregnant with Eve I got so little sleep. I think it is God's way of helping make the adjustment to lack of sleep once the baby is here not as big of a deal. I am on spring break this week and I had 3 goals: clean and orgnaize the house, sleep, and do homework. It is Wednesday and I have not accomplished one of these goals. My parents had Eve spend the night on Friday and Saturday so I should have been able to sleep until well past ten. No I was up at 7 am both days after waking up a million times to get comfortable and pee. Sunday she came home but I had a head cold so sleep Sunday night/Monday morning was pretty much lost (I was wide awake from 2 am to 6:30 am) by the time I fell into a good sleep there was a cute little 4 year old standing next to me asking me to get up and play. On Monday night/Tuesday morning I was not able to fall asleep until 1:30 am and then got up about every hour to pee and was woken by Miss Eve at 7:30 am. Seriously the child used to sleep until 10 am at least but now I feel blessed if she makes it to 8 am. So last night Adam and I had a tour of the hospital we will be delivering in (not the same one we had Eve at.) We left Eve overnight with my parents again (she loves it there and my parents can't get enough of her.) I am finally starting to feel better so I was excited about the prospect of a good night sleep and getting to sleep in. I must have woken up every hour last night because I just couldn't get comfortable and I was wide awake by 6 am. Seriously all I want is a good night sleep. Just one. I am hoping I start getting tired soon so that I can go back to bed and wake up feeling refreshed enough to complete one of the other goals on my list before I pick up Eve.

Bittersweet.

Today was my due date for the baby we lost. It is also 2 months exactly until Milo is due. I never realized that the 2 dates were exactly 2 months apart.

I have a little vent I need to get off my chest. It really makes me angry to hear people to talk about chemical pregnancies like they aren't a true miscarriage. I don't like when people treat it like it is just a missed period. I was attached to the baby I lost from the second I saw the positive test. I was in love with my baby even if the time was short it still hurt. It was still my child and I was pregnant and cared for it. Just because my miscarriage was early it was still a miscarriage. I wish people would understand that the physical and emotional pain was very real to me and I still sit here teary eyed about it even though I am growing a beautiful baby boy. I still love my angel baby and I always will. I don't even know what else to say so I will just stop now.

The rollercoaster continues.

So at lunch today I went to the restroom and had some blood tinged discharge. I wonder if this is my mucus plug. Honestly I never bled a day with Eve until 8 hours after my water broke and don't remember losing my mucus plug with her. I just wish this kid would relax and stop freaking me out. I will be calling the Dr. tomorrow. Luckily the bleeding was just that one time so I think we are ok but I will call tomorrow just to make sure.

Update.

Milo is most likely going to stay for a while. YYYYYYAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so happy that the test was negative. I go back to the Dr. in 3 weeks to make sure everything is still gravy. I have to go back in sometime this week to take the 3 hour glucose test. I am not looking forward to that but I guess I got to do what I gotta do. I really hope I don't have gestational diabetes because I don't know how to live in a world without sugar.

Milo

I have been sick on and off since last week Wednesday. I took off Thursday and Friday because the stomach bug hit the hardest then. I had off through Monday and took off today because I went to the Dr. All weekend I have been having a hard time and a lot of pressure on my cervix. I mentioned it to the Dr. today and she decided to check me out and I am already starting to dialate a little so she did a test to see if I would be likely to have preterm labor. If I get a negative it means I am ok and if it is positive I might have to go back on bedrest. She told me to take it easy and rest but that I could go back to work tomorrow and they will call me with the results of the test. She doesn't seem to be too concerned so I will go back tomorrow but am not really looking forward to it. It is really hard to take it easy when you teach 140 7th graders. I know my students will be so excited for me to be back tomorrow but I am not looking forward to the craziness. I just think it is going to be hard waiting for the results but I really hopr everything is ok and I am going to try my hardest to take it easy tomorrow.

Happy Valentine's Day Poll!

I got this off of Bella's blog. I think it is cute.

♥ How long have you been together? 7 years ago tomorrow we first started dating.
♥ How long did you know each other before you started dating? A few days
♥ Who asked who out? After a heavy night of drinking and flirting I pulled him outside the bar and asked him if he would be my boyfriend. Just like a 12 year old and he said yes.
♥ How old are each of you? We both are currently 28 but not for long.
♥ Whose siblings do/ did you see the most? Probably about equal.
♥ Do you have any children together? Miss Eve and soon to be Milo.
♥ What about pets? Not anymore.
♥ Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple? Not getting enough time to spend together.
♥ Did you go to the same school? No.
♥ Are you from the same home town? Not really. I don't really have a "hometown" since we moved so much. I am mostly from the Milwaukee area and Adam is from the Chicago burbs and then later Lake Geneva, WI.
♥ Who is the smartest? me
♥ Who is the most sensitive? Me!
♥ Where do you eat out most as a couple? The last 2 times we went out to eat it was at Brio but we get take out from everywhere a lot more than we should.
♥ Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple? From where we currently live Florida.
♥ Who has the craziest exes? He does.
♥ Who has the worst temper? Me.
♥ Who does the cooking? Mostly him
♥ Who is more social? Him
♥ Who is the neat-freak? Neither of us.
♥ Who is the more stubborn? Me.
♥ Who hogs the bed? Me.
♥ Who wakes up earlier? On the weekdays him and on the weekends me.
♥ Where was your first date? The Cactus Club (a bar)
♥ Who has the bigger family? immediate family-him, extended family-me.
♥ Do you get flowers often? Not really but I am not big into flowers so it is ok.
♥ How do you spend the holidays? Together and then it depends on what we do about our families.
♥ Who is more jealous? Neither of us.
♥ How long did it take to get serious? A day? We both fell pretty hard for each other.
♥ Who eats more? He does but I look like it.
♥ Who does/ did the laundry? Both of us.
♥ Who’s better with the computer? Me.
♥ Who drives when you are together? Him.

Work.

Arizona is the most messed up state. We are facing being at a loss of 1.6 billion dollars this year. Where are they getting most of the money you ask? From education. They are taking back 95 million from us. Our school district alone has to cut out 8.8 million dollars before the end of the school year. What this means for us so far is that for the first 2 absent teachers a day we have to give up our prep hours and fill in for them without extra compensation. I already work 9 hour days with a 25 minute lunch and feel exhausted and now you are going to take away my only hour to prepare for my students. We have a lot of teachers that are out and there aren't a lot of teachers with my prep hour which means I will probably only get my prep every couple of days if I am lucky. Thankfully I will only have to deal with this for a couple of weeks because it doesn't start until after spring break and I will only be there for about 2-3 weeks after spring break but I feel bad for my coworkers. There are a lot of other cuts going to take place too. They are cutting funding to a lot of programs. I teach AVID which helps average students get ready for college for 2 periods a day. Our school gets extra contracts for those classes. Well next year we won't. So will we still have the program? It is one of the best programs on campus and I will be really sad if it goes even if I am not there because it matters to the students. They are also thinking of axing all day kindergarten. Eve is slated to start in 2010 and I want her to go to all day K. I will even pay for it but now not only are you making my job miserable but you are also taking away programs I want for my personal child. There are other programs we won't get as well. I really wish we had Janet Napolitano still as Governor. Jan Brewer is freaking idiot. To top off all the cuts the state government wants to lower taxes. Yeah we are short on money so we are going to lower taxes it makes a lot of sense. I really wish we had a more education friendly state government but that is what happens when your state is ultra conservative and run by a church (oh wait did I say that out loud?) I really wish they would take their heads out of their asses. I can't even start on everything that is wrong with their intended cuts but it would be nice if they had someone who actually knew what was good for education in office to help them see that taking away our already limited resources doesn't make us better at our job or make learning any easier for our students.