A new outlook.

I know I have been so mopey lately and I don't like it. I finally got my reality check today. When I was dropping Eve off I overheard one of her teachers talk about how she is really struggling raising her 2 teenage sons because she is a widow and they really need a male in their lives so she has been trying to get men from her church to kind of step up to help her show her sons how men should live a moral life. After I drop Eve off everyday I drive the rest of the way to work and pray/think to myself. As I was driving I saw a woman at a bus stop who had her whole side of her face bruised. I realized I need to get over all the crap and realize what I have to be thankful for.

I have 2 beautiful children.

Milo's smile lights up the whole room. Every time I look at him he smiles at me...even when he is whining.

Eve is so funny. Her curiosity kills me. I love how she says words wrong. Like shade-o instead of shadow. She is so sweet and I love that she is so loving to her family.

Adam is amazing. He is the most giving man in the world. He takes such good care of the kids and me. I can't put into words how much I love him. I like that we are always on the same page. Sometimes I think we are the same person. Like tonight when we were talking about dinner we both had a new idea of how to prepare the roll for our meatball subs. It was the exact same idea of making the roll into garlic bread first before adding the meatballs.

I am thankful for my parents because they always make time for us.

I am thankful for my students because they always know how to make me smile/laugh even if we had a rough day.

I am thankful that my coworkers take the time to tell me good things they hear about me in class because it makes my day.

Halloween.

Milo is 6 months!

Milo had his 6 month Dr. appointment today he was 28 inches and 16 lbs 15.5 oz. He dropped from the 75th to 50th percent for weight but they don't seemed too concerned. 6 months is when Eve started to drop off the weight charts and it only took 4 years to get back on the chart at the 10th percent which is better than the below 3% she was at. Milo is in the 95th percentile for height so we still have a pretty big baby. I am actually surprised he has only grown an inch in 2 months because he seems extra long. He toughed out his shots with hardly a cry. He has a slight problem with his circumcision where the Dr. had to re-break part of it and the poor baby didn't handle that well at all. He is a mess every time we change his diaper. Plus tooth # 2 is coming in.

Blahhhhh.

That is how I feel lately. I feel like I don't have anything exciting to post. I am kind of depressed about Adam's work situation. I hate using our savings and it makes me upset. I don't want to totally disrupt Eve's life by taking her out of school even though it would save us $500 a month. Adam is supposed to start a new job doing loan processing which he hates doing and it is temporary and they are only saing the job will last 6-10 months. It will be nice because it will make it so we can work and building up the money we spent the last couple of months but it still sucks. He is going to keep looking for something else but even with this job I feel like we need to still save up every penny because who knows what the future holds. I have thought about getting a part time job to help get our money back and to get a little extra for Christmas but I think it hurts Adam's pride that I am even considering it. The reality is we will be fine but with the way the economy is I feel like I need to be prepared for worst case senario at all times. When we first got married we had a lot of debt and we worked our way out of it and have had money ever since and I don't ever want to go back to that.

A Girl!

My SIL had a baby girl today!

A vent.

I know I said I was going to try and be positive but I have to get this vent out. I really dislike my inlaws sometimes. I hate the way they make all of their children vie for their love and attention. I hate that we all do it anyway. I hate how my husband is so forgiving of them. I hate that they don't treat my kids like grandparents should. I hate that they only talk about how great 2 of their grandkids are while the other 4 are chopped liver. I hate that they didn't have the decency to tell my kids goodbye when they decided to move. I hate they stand by and support when their children make bad decisions but don't support their children when they make the right ones. It kills me that everything is always about them and I hate that it upsets me. I wish I could not care about them. I wish it didn't hurt. I wish I didn't doubt their love and I wish I could let myself have no expectations from them so it didn't hurt so bad when they didn't live up to them.

The one thing I have to say about my parents is that although they can be wacky sometimes at least I have never doubted that they love me and when I really need them I know they will be there.

I honestly can't imagine what it is like to have a deadbeat parent because this is hard enough and they are in our lives although they don't seem to really get what it means to be a parent. I will stop venting now. I just need to get it out because Adam just doesn't get it sometimes and I feel bad always venting about his parents to him because they are his parents whether it makes me happy or not.

What's going on.

I haven't been posting much because it feels like all I have to do is complain and I feel like I have just been so negative. I am trying really hard to be positive. Adam had a job interview last week for a company he would actually like to work for and we have been waiting patiently to hear back. They said they would call either way. I think because it has been so long the answer is no but we will wait it out. I just hope we know either way by the weekend. I wish people would call him for interviews. The economy is just so depressing.

Work on my end has been ok. The Principal at my school actually backed me up when I addressed an issue with an intern I had in my class and I was thankful for that. It is a huge weight that has been lifted off of me.

I feel like I am this huge ball of stress right now and am trying so desperately to live in the moment and relax. I know God is watching out for us and I just need to let go of trying to make everything perfect. This is something I continually struggle with. I have just been feeling overwhelmed with everything and I need to realize that some things are just out of my hands.

The kids are doing great. Milo started rice cereal on his 5 month birthday. He loves it. Eve is loving her school and is excited to start "Church school" in 2 weeks.

Taking pictures underwater is hard. Especially when she swims faster than I can line up the shot.

Milo has super long arms. These pajamas are 6-12 months and they look like 3/4 length sleeves.