When I grow up. (long and random)

Adam and I have always agreed to have 2 kids if God granted them to us. I have always thought in the back of my mind that perhaps we would have 3 especially if we ended up with 2 of the same sex kids because I really wanted a girl and Adam wanted a boy (which I find amazing because Eve is all about Daddy and Milo so far is all about Mommy.) Well as fate would have it we have one of each. So now Adam is completely convinced that this is it, but I have this desire to have another. This last year has been a roller coaster for us. In the last year we have lost a pregnancy, a grandma, and a grandpa and we gained our beautiful Milo after many ups and downs. Adam has stated on occasion of me bringing up the possibility of a 3rd baby that this year has been too much and he really doesn't want to go through it again. He loves the family we have created and is willing to go get "fixed." We have agreed to wait a year before going through the procedure to make sure we are really done. Well I just can't seem to let it go. I feel like I am really ok with 2 kids and honestly there are so many drawbacks in my mind of having another...more money for daycare, need a bigger car/van, need a bigger house, etc. Two kids fits us and our lifestyle. So why can't I let go of this idea of one more? I have been thinking about it a lot. And then as I was casually talking to Adam in the car today about having maybe one more I think it dawned on me why. As a kid growing up I always said to myself that my life's goals were to graduate college, get married, and have kids just as I think many young girls think of. Well I have done all of those things...now what. I think this idea was also confounded by the fact that we waited so long between kids. Starting 2.5 years ago I really wanted another kid and we waited a year and a half before trying again and I think that build up of we are going to be trying and then waiting for the healthy birth of your child is huge and realizing that I won't get to do that again kind of sucks even though it is good too. So now I feel like I have this huge part of me that is going to be part of my past. Am I all grown up now that I meet all my lifetime goals from when I was a kid? Do I need to make new long term idealistic goals to get the feeling to go away? Or do I accept that I have finished one wonderful chapter I have dreamed about since I was little and be open to where the next chapter leads me. I really think I need to accept that we are done having kids and just look forward to watching them grow. I really don't want another kid I just want the experience and that is not a reason to have a child so hopefully God will grant me peace with the decision to love and enjoy my two beautiful children and allow the longing for another to subside.

Sibling Love.

While in the hotel Eve slept between Adam and I and Milo slept in his carseat next to me. Well Milo woke up to eat and when he was done I laid him next to Eve so I could take a picture of them together. Eve woke up, saw Milo was next to her and put her arm around him and they fell back asleep.

What a week.

Last week Tuesday Adam's grandpa passed away. We flew up to Milwaukee that night and have had the crazy busiest week since then. We spent so much time with family and I think we spent more time in Illinois than Wisconsin even though we were staying in WI. Even though we were there for such a sad reason we really had a great time. We took Eve to the Museum of Science and Industry. We also got to eat at most of our favorite restaurants like Portillos, Kopps, Lakeland Bakery, Next Door Pub, and Toppers pizza. I probably gained 50 lbs from all the crap we ate.

I will write more probably tomorrow but for now I am exhausted.

1 month stats!

On Friday Milo had his one month appointment.
Length: 23.5 inches
Weight: 11lbs 6oz
Head Circumference: 15.5 inches

My child is huge but I love him and he is staying right on track with his growth.

I also had my postpartum Dr. visit. It was quick and to the point. Apparently I am all healed up nicely and on top of it all I have lost 30 pounds since having Milo when I only gained 19 during pregnancy. I am really happy about that. I had lost about 26 lbs within the first 2 weeks but then had put a pound or two back on. We have been eating healthy this week and that has really helped. We started using e-mealz.com to get our meal plan for the week. We are doing the points system for 2. Everything we have made so far has been fairly decent and we have noticed it has helped us also cut back on our portion size. We had a few bad meals this week because it was Adam's birthday but overall I still feel really good about this plan. We are hoping to be able to maintain it and see if with more consistency if we lose even more.

My big girl.

So today Milo was napping and Eve wanted to do the Wii fit so I put on her body test and click all the buttons for her while chatting with Adam on MSN messenger. Well I must not have been going fast enough or paying much attention because before I know it I look up and she took the controller and is doing ski jump. She apparently knows how to use the Wii without assistance. Sometimes I don't know about this kid because she seems to have a knack for the most random things yet still skips numbers when counting (she always forgets 6.)

So here is a picture I snuck of her playing by herself.

1 Month!

Time is just flying by!

Eve the S-M-R-T child

Eve woke up the other morning and had to go to the restroom. I was in the living room with Milo so she was going and this is the conversation we had across the house.

E: Mom I peed a little on the floor
Me: Get some toilet paper and clean it up I will be in there in a minute to clean it better.
E: Mom it got all over Milo's bath mat.
Me: What do you mean it got all over Milo's bath mat?
E: I kind of made a mess.
Me: Ok I am coming.

So I put Milo down and go in the bathroom to find that there is pee everywhere. Like a giant puddle. I then started laughing hysterically. The night before we had given Milo a bath and Adam had put the toilet seat down so he could sit on it while we bathed him. Eve never put it up and her pee rolled right off of the toilet onto the ground. It is now the running joke that we ask Eve every time if she is sure the seat is up.